9 years. It’s been 9 years since I closed this blog. I was then a proud (forensic) psychology student who had recently started to work full-time as a research assistant. I wasn’t proud of being a first generation university student, but neither was I ashamed. It just didn’t mean anything to me. Something that did mean something, however, was that I was at university. At all.
Some struggle more, some struggle less. My struggle was never the university studies, not even the post-graduate studies. My struggle was never being a first generation university student. Not even was it a particularly big thing for me that I was pressured to employ questionable research practices before and during my PhD years. Don’t get me wrong: I did hate it, and I did vent it with friends and colleagues. And it did for sure negatively affect my social life at the department because I never kept quiet about how I felt about the statistical and methodological cheating we engaged in. And for sure was I actively searching for senior researchers I could turn to with my thoughts on the bad methods we used. But it was all… temporary. It was all always manageable. I was never in pain.
The same goes for my decision in 2016 to leave traditional academia and start my own research institute. A completely reckless thing to do for any freshly baked doctor interested in remaining a credible academic. But to me it was no more than a mere shrug.
My big struggle was already over when I started university at 27. It was over and I had ended up on the safe side. I was grateful for being capable to study at university. I was grateful for being alive, for being able to be happy and to really feel happy. I still can’t find any other way to end those sentences other than with my hand on the heart whispering “thank you”. Thank you.
9 years after closing RMW’s blogg I am now opening it again. 9 years after focusing on my academic career and family building, I now have things to say again that do not fit into a scientific publication. I do not know how to write non-academically in English, but I will anyway because there might be someone out there who wants to read.
I do under no circumstances make any promise to blog continuously. But I do promise to always blog honestly and be true to what I (currently) believe in.
Thank you for reading.